Why our minds love to “talk dirt” about the person that runs them (you)
Bill’s tip for September: Expository Living
Remember the five-paragraph essay in school? -How to lend credence to your written opinion in an organized way by stating a thesis (which appears at the end of your introductory paragraph) citing supportive examples
(in paragraph 2, 3 and 4) then “wowing ’em” with a concluding paragraph that reinforces your argument for “why my school is the best,” or “why apples are better than oranges”….
Apples and oranges aside, in life we often unconsciously twist perception, creating an unhealthy and limited viewpoint. In the tradition of the five paragraph essay, we often find ourselves choosing negative self-concepts (thesis), then running with these ideas by “police-scanning” through our days looking for evidence to support these self-made accusations. Unfortunately, our minds love to “talk dirt” about the person (you) that runs them.
Just the Facts:
Life is a mixed bag: Good things and bad things happen to everyone. However, mental well-being is dependent on our ability to detach from our negative self-perceptions before we reinforce them.
With intention, we can control our outcomes: Well-being is achieved by consciously replacing limiting beliefs with supportive thoughts. Just as easily as we pick ourselves apart with negative ideas about ourselves, we can learn to scan for valid evidence that supports “I am enough” or “everything is as it should be”.
My tip for September: Flip your thesis statement and scan for positives in your life: It’s the best way to make the grade and graduate to happiness.
Phillip’s tip for September: Reaching Out
You just had a terrific Labor Day weekend….So why do you feel so lonely?
Sometimes after a larger-than-life holiday, emptiness pops up and you mourn the loss of your good time.
So what can you do about today’s emotional hangover – have a drink, order a pizza and/or drown yourself in television? These actions may provide temporary distraction from your sorrow. But why not implement as the solution the real reason you enjoyed your weekend?
Face time vs. Facebook:
Chances are you connected with life over the holiday – you got off your couch and socialized with an old friend or perhaps made a new acquaintance -and you did this in person.
In today’s very plugged-in society, we often don’t have enough quality face time. Yes, Facebook is fun and texting is efficient but we can celebrate new technology without allowing it to replace actual human interaction. Consider phoning a friend from the weekend: Plan a hike or ask them to coffee as a remedy for your post-holiday blues.
Take the risk of reaching out:
When was the last time you went through your phone’s address book but didn’t reach out – your inner voice hissing “But I’m sure they’re too busy” or “It was easier to connect when I was younger”. Consider replacing one text a week with a phone call to that same friend – Just do it! When you don’t feel like reaching out to another is usually the very time you need human contact the most.
Old fashioned relationships may take more effort but the pay-off can be a lifetime of good memories and an increased sense of well-being that reaches far beyond the holidays.